Whenever I see an oddly paired couple on the street I always
assume they met online. Usually I’m right (speculation, I’ve never actually
confirmed this).
Folks who are in happy relationships love to tell us single
folks to try online dating. They think it’s a fun way to meet people. IT IS
NOT. Attempting to find a mate online is probably one of the worst forms of
torture, especially for someone whose egg count is well below 50% of what they
were born with.
Online dating is like trying to buy a sweater on Gap.com but
every size you order is ill-fitting. And while the return policy is quick and
easy you still have to leave your apartment to mail the package. After a few trips
to the closest shipping retailer, you realize maybe you just weren't meant to
wear sweaters.
The only time I've successfully obtained something via online
transaction is on Zappos. Probably because I tried the shoe at a store
beforehand. I feel doing the equivalent of this in the online dating world would be a bit whore-ish. Also, "delivering happiness" sounds vaguely like prostitution when taken out of context.
Usually I love a good bargain, but this may not be apropos when trying to find a mate. Greg, 32, financially stable, well-educated and loves hiking sounds like a good match until you scroll down and find out he's a vegan. You can throw a scarf around a cheap, ill-fitting sweater to salvage the outfit, but does throwing a scarf over Greg make him at least eat dairy (a life without cheese is not a life worth living)?
So to conclude, I have no sweaters and cheese is delicious.
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