Pomp and Circumstance

High School Graduation. It's a chance for the school board to finally make an appearance after all those years of just being a name that appears on school bulletins. Although, at my brother's graduation they kind of got the shaft with some "Director of Special Education Services." I'm just wondering what it takes to get the superintendent to show up.

At good 'Ol LHS, parents arrive for the ceremony early and save 2 rows of seats. Obnoxious? Yes. Did we do it too? You bet. But only 1/2 a row, when you're the 2nd born you just get less love in general. The only part that really sucked about our seats was that the benches were made of wood and every time you shifted over, you'd get like 10 splinters in your ass. I actually had to stand up and pick some out, those suckers are aggressive and dig deep.

The band director cues the band and the processional begins. Edward Elgar's one-hit wonder, "Pomp and Circumstance," makes its annual appearance.

Then comes the part when I tried so, so, SO hard not to roll my eyes. The student speeches where you hear lines like, "The challenge is not what lies ahead, but how we will challenge the world." or "Each of us different, but we will always share this milestone... this... moment... in... time." Or they'll be anecdotal:

Every morning in Africa, a Gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a Lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest Gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn't matter whether you are a Lion or a Gazelle... when the sun comes up, you'd better be running.”

This is followed by, "whether we are running in gym class, to our next class or that club meeting, THIS is where we finally see how far we've run, that we've survived."

The best part is when the principal says some words, basically presenting the graduating class. I'm 99% sure it's a generic speech and he just changes the graduation year. "It is with great pleasure to present the class of [insert year]. I can say from the bottom of my heart that this class is unlike any class we've had at LHS. It has been a pleasure meeting every one of you. I can say with great certainty that the class of [insert year] has made a lasting impact not only at school but within the community..."

And the FINAL popularity contest, the competition to see who gets the most applause when names are called to receive diplomas. Will it be the jock? The head cheerleader? The nerd? Actually it was the senior class president. But I don't think it was because he was popular, but rather because he was the last person and everyone was just glad it was finally over (and people would stop with those damn air horns).

*cue* Sarah McLachlan's, "I Will Remember You" or Vitamin C's, "Graduation (Friends Forever)."

If I were to be a speaker, my speech would go like this: Congratulations to the graduating class of 2007! Now you can finally use the phrase, "OMG, that is SO high school."